Empty House

My house is now empty...except for a few camping chairs, an air mattress and an old tv we are leaving behind. It is so surreal to me right now. After 5 whole years of living in this apartment, it is so sad to go. I walked around the house yesterday as the movers finished packing and moving our stuff. I'd start crying randomly and then had to remember to not embarrass myself on front of the movers. I have experienced so much life in this apartment. From years 23 to 28 I have called this place home. Between two roommates, a new kitty, an old kitty, meeting Brandon, a new dog, falling in love, being a foster mom and getting married, this apartment has never let me down. Although some of the neighbors are old, weird and nosey, I have always felt safe here. Even on nights when Brandon was away on duty or on a det, I felt safe. And now I am leaving my home, my nest, my place of safety to move 3,000 miles away from everything I have ever known. No friends, no family, no home. I know in a few months I will have friends and a place to live, it's just sad to leave. I really think I am in denial about leaving San Diego, my friends, my brothers and sisters, my dad, and I think I will have a mental breakdown when I say goodbye to my nephews and nieces this afternoon. I know I will be ok though. I know that this is an adventure and even though I am leaving everything I have known, it will be ok. I will be ok. I will be better than ok actually.